By Chad Adcock
Here’s the thing about relaxing. I once had a wrestling coach that would frequently yell at me to relax in the middle of my matches. Finally, after hearing this shouted at me an innumerable number of times, I finally responded by saying, “I am relaxed, coach.” He yelled back at me, “Then relax harder!!”
For many of us, our nervous systems have been used to bracing for impact, even in the most ordinary of moments. In this case, you may not properly know how to relax. When doing ordinary tasks such as brushing your teeth, do you find that your body tenses up or your jaw clenches or you attempt to rush through the activity? Does everything feel like it needs to be done fast and forcefully? Do you find yourself loudly closing cabinets and doors? Do you often “multitask” with overstimulating activities in an attempt to drown out the silence and avoid thinking?
If so, then take notice of when you are not relaxed. Calmness may not feel natural. For some of us, chaos and intensity can feel perfectly normal, even when it doesn’t have to be. Slowing down and relaxing is a powerful tool to regulate your mental health. Take a deep breath with a long exhale. Finally, lower your shoulders and soften your posture. Intensity is not always necessary. Taking these pauses to “relax harder” will, over time, move us closer to finding safety and comfort in our own bodies.
09/19/2025
